Exploring the language of the inner world.

Teodoro Criscione
11 min readApr 22, 2022

December 2021. XII — The Hanged Man. Rider–Waite tarot deck.

Stop fooling yourself and admit it: “I’m waiting (or fighting) for something that will never happen”. When I am sure I gave my best and keep failing then it’s time to take a break. There are two possibilities, either I wrong strategy or I wrong goal.

In both cases, I take a break from myself and from my flow of thoughts. Deep breathing and honestly inquire myself: “where did I fool myself this time? Is this what I really want? If yes, what I am ready to sacrifice for it?”. To get something I never had, I need to do something I never did. Everything has a price, but I do not sell myself.

Stop fooling yourself. Start living.

Change perspective.
Change mindset.
Change attitude.
Change behaviour.


“The world is like a perpetual fig tree (aswattha sanâtana) whose root rises towards the air and whose branches sink into the earth” — “L’Arbre du monde”, Ibn ‘Arabi, translation by Maurice Gloton ; Ed.Les deux Océans, Paris

Bjagavad-Gotâ XV, 1: “It is a perennial fig plant, the root above, the branches below, of which the hymns of the Veda are the leaves; he who knows this knows the Veda “

“The roots of its minerals are in the air and their tops in the earth …” (“Les racines de la consicence. The overturned tree”, Carl Gustav Jung, page 481 — Laurentius Ventura)


January 2022. Eight of Cups. Rider–Waite tarot deck.

Once upon a time, a reckless traveller who walked thousands of miles and breathed thousands of souls. Quite often in his travels his heart was getting broken. His love was often unrequited.

After climbing a mountain, he decided to visit a well-known wise man living in a shelter, and he asked him: “why my heart cannot find its place?”.

“Look over there”, said the wise man pointing a river going down to the valley. The river was magnificent and new life was being born in its passage — shaping the present and the future of the world.

After few seconds, the wise man turned to the seeker and looked into his eyes. “A river needs an embankment to reach the ocean. The bigger is the river the more beings will drink its water. The longer and deeper is its path, the more times it needs to change its shape. The more powerful is the river, the more life will bring into this world. Living beings take from the river what they need to take — no more, no less. The love of the river is unconditional: it is there to give itself because this is its nature.”

The wise man took a break and deeply breathed looking at the river. The traveller felt the chills crawling up his spine and tears filling his eyes: now all the rejections, the break-ups, the betrayals, the abandonments, and the disappointments his heart found in his way made sense to him.

After few minutes, the wise man turned back looking again the traveller’s eyes. “A stagnant river overflows destroying everything, so it is important to keep flowing. Follow your path despite the obstacles. Your waters do not belong to any land. Pastures further downstream await your passage. Don’t be afraid of loneliness. We are all lonely rivers in this life. And remember: Flowing is the Joy you can find simply in Breathing.”

January 2022. XIII — The Death. Rider–Waite tarot deck.

The only obstacles between my current state and the feeling of Joy are illusions. When I accept the reality as it is without fooling myself, then I can feel the Joy of Life.

Expectations are illusions based on future outcomes. Regrets, recurrent/repeating dysfunctional patterns, and nostalgic memories are illusions based on past outcomes. Idealisations, heuristics, and cognitive biases are illusions based on the present moment.

Illusions come out of love. A distorted version of love which sells oneself to the best offer. I sold my freedom, dreams, and identity to others, then I expect something back. I sold my satisfaction and gratification to others in the present moment so I escape into a lovable past. I think to love who I think I am (or who I think my partner is/the others are) so that I unconsciously distort the perception of reality following thoughts and beautiful reveries instead of real feelings (here and now).

Being able to get rid of illusions allow my mind to fully focus on and understand the present moment appreciating what I have around me and who I really am now. This the only way to fully unleash divine potentialities. When I am able to appreciate what I have and who I am now, then everything becomes an opportunity to change, learn and evolve.

Illusions must die. Kill them, before they kill you. Enjoy your life here and now, you will not have another chance.

It is not important what is going die, but what is left after death.

“Joy”. From Latin gaudia “expressions of pleasure; sensual delight,” plural of gaudium “joy, inward joy, gladness, delight; source of pleasure or delight”. From Greek gaio “I rejoice”. From Sanskrit “Yog”. From Sanskrit योग (yóga, “yoking, union”), from Proto-Indo-Aryan *yáwgas, from Proto-Indo-Iranian *yáwgas, from Proto-Indo-European *yéwg-o-s, from *yewg- (“to join”) (whence also yoke).

January 2022. Eight of Pentacles. Rider–Waite tarot deck.

John Pettie, R.A. (1839–1893). A knight’s vigil. Signed and dated ‘J Pettie 1884’ (lower right). Oil on canvas: 24 1/2 x 35 1/2 in. ( 62.3 x 90.2 cm.)

In Divine Glory. For Divine Glory. By Divine Glory.

Forging the Armor (attributed to Rudolf Steiner)

I refuse to submit to fear
that takes away my joy of freedom,
that keeps me from taking the risk,
that makes me small and petty,
grabbing me,
that prevents me from being direct and frank,
that haunts me and occupies my imagination,
always painting gloomy visions.
I don’t want to raise barriers out of fear.
I want to live and I don’t want to lock myself up.
I don’t want to be friendly for fear of being honest.
I want my steps to be steady because I’m sure…
and not to hide the fear.
And when I shut up,
I want to do this out of love.
and not out of fear
of the consequences of my words.
I don’t want to believe anything
just for fear of not believing.
I don’t want to philosophise out of fear
that something might hit me up close and personal.
I don’t want to bend
only for fear of being unlovable,
I don’t want to impose anything on others,
for fear that they might impose something on me;
for fear of making a mistake, I don’t want to become passive.
I don’t want to run back to the “old”
for fear I wouldn’t feel safe in “new.”
I don’t want to make myself important
for fear of being ignored otherwise.
In trust and love
I want to do what I do
and stop what I stop doing.
From fear I want to tear
the domain and give it to Love.
And I want to believe in the Kingdom
that exists in me.

January 2022. XIV — Temperance. Rider–Waite tarot deck.

temper (v.)
late Old English temprian “to moderate, bring to a proper or suitable state, to modify some excessive quality, to restrain within due limits,” from Latin temperare “observe proper measure, be moderate, restrain oneself,” also transitive, “mix correctly, mix in due proportion; regulate, rule, govern, manage.” This is often described as from Latin tempus “time, season”, with a sense of “proper time or season.” [ from Etymonline]

Against Fear, Rudolf Steiner, The Intimate Nature of Prayer, GA59, 4th Conference, Berlin, 17 February 1910

Whatever happens, whatever, unknown to me, may happen to me in the next hour or tomorrow, I certainly cannot change it with fear and anxiety.
So I face it with perfect inner peace, with the sea of feeling perfectly calm.

Fear and anxiety paralyze our evolution; let us reject the waves of fear and anxiety as far as our soul is concerned from the future.
Devotion to what is called Divine Wisdom present in events, the certainty that whatever will happen because it had to happen, and that — whatever the direction — it will still have its positive effects; by translating this animic attitude into words, feelings, ideas, we realize the state of mind of devout prayer.

This belongs to what we must learn in this time: we must learn to live with pure trust, without any security in existence, with confidence in the ever-present help of the spiritual world. In truth, today cannot be otherwise, if courage must not sink in.

Let us properly discipline our will and seek inner awakening every morning and every evening.

Oh Michael,
I commend to your protection
With all the strength of my heart,
I place myself under your aegis,
So that the dawn of this day
May it be an image of the Just
Fate in the act that belongs to your being.

I carry my pain into the setting sun,
I place all my worries in her radiant bosom:
Purified by the Light,
Transform through Love,
They return as invigorating thoughts,
As strength for acts of joyous sacrifice.

January 2022. XV — The Devil. Rider–Waite tarot deck.

Saint George and the Dragon is a painting by Peter Paul Rubens (c. 1605–07).

‹‹ Welcome to my Kingdom. I’m the Master of your Illusions and your Fear is my Queen.

I am the Greed behind your needs. I am in the depths of your vocation and your hardest condemnation. I live in the shelter of your abandoned dreams.

I am the Guardian of your beliefs. You can defeat me, but you will lose your mind. After me, Nothingness you can find.

I am the Greatest Daimon of your Fulfilment. I am the Cornerstone of your Embodiment. I am everything you think you know and what you do not want to know.

I am in all the beginnings and all the ends. I am all the meanings you have found and all you have left. I’m the Power you want, when Love seems a theft.

I am the Key. ››

The reply:

‹‹ I am all of it and more than that. I am more than you know and even imagine.

You are the horizon but I am the sea. I am in the world, but not of it. I am the Existence, not only a Life. I am more than you and I.

I descend to transcend.

If a God exists, it is the blank space in all of this, the unspoken word in this mist, the origin before everything — before and after, you and me.

I will die, and you with me. We are almost meaningless drops in an infinite sea. Nothing can last in this Eternal breeze.

The door is Open. ››

February 2022. VIII The Strength. Rider-Waite Tarot Deck.

The Accolade by Edmund Blair-Leighton, 1901, Oil on Canvas, 108.0 x 182.3, Private Collection.

Many are looking for a plan to save the world.

Nevertheless, no prophet or teacher ever communicated this intention.

In fact, no one can do it, for the simple reason that the world is not permanent and does not belong to humans.

Saying that you want to save the whole world means having lost the orientation.

I cannot even change who is standing next to me, how am I supposed to change the entire world?

The very first action to do in order to save humanity is to focus on saving oneself by purifying one’s thoughts and actions.

This is the most powerful political action that can be carried out. And it comes at a price: hard work.

— Burhanuddin Herrmann

Michael is a masculine given name derived from the Hebrew phrase מי כאל‎ mī kāʼēl, ‘Who [is] like-El’, in Aramaic: ܡܝܟܐܝܠ (Mīkhāʼēl [miχaˈʔel]). The theophoric name is a rhetorical question — “Who [is] like [the Hebrew God] El?”, whose answer is “there is none like El”, or “there is none as famous and powerful as God.” This question is known in Latin as Quis ut Deus?. Although sometimes considered erroneous, an alternative spelling of the name is Micheal.[Wikipedia]

February 2022. King of Cups. Rider-Waite deck.

“Problem” is the effect of a too narrow and limited vision of Reality.

“Pain” is the manifestation of a desynchronized vision of Reality — i.e. illusion.

The comfortable, secure, certain, and known state of an illusion is the hallucination behind the alienation from Reality.

Accept Reality as it is and let the problems and pains flow away with the current. Move from the Inside.
It is what it is.

Reality is accessible only deeply welcoming the Present Moment. Reality is here and now in form of sensorial perceptions, emotions, and body feelings — not induced by the Mind.

Let the flow of thoughts constructing the vision of Reality flow away with the current. Only by changing and expanding the understanding of Reality, do problems and pain flow away.

I am not only and necessarily what I think now. I am more than that. Not everything is meant to be rationally understood now. But everything is meant to be lived now.

Beyond an obstacle, there are new possibilities of Being which can perceive new opportunities to change. Beyond pain, there is Joy. Beyond a Truth there is Reality.

Life is made in a way that if you try to hold and keep, it can destroy. Let it flow.

Let the Wind move these clouds to clearly grasp the infinite sky. Let the Water move this body-soul to grasp infinite shapes. Let the Fire burn this world to grasp infinite ways. Let the Earth move your breath to dance the Joy of Life.

An entire Life which the Mind built upon the need for confirmation and approval from others cannot rationally accept that this Life is Pure Joy. Life asks only to be lived Here and Now.

Be Water.
Be Wind.
Be Fire.
Be Real.

“Do you have any proof that you’re not already in heaven and messing it up?”

— Sadhguru

April 2022. King of Pentacles. Rider-Waite tarot deck.

Sapias, vina liques et spatio brevi spem longam reseces. dum loquimur, fugerit invida aetas: carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero.
— Horatius Odes 1.11

{Strain your wine and prove your wisdom; life is short; should hope be more? In the moment of our talking, envious time has ebb’d away. Seize the present; trust tomorrow e’en as little as you may.}

Stop chasing Love
I found Grace

Stop chasing Beauty
I found Beatitude

Stop chasing Time
I found Peace

Stop chasing Validation
I found Glory

Stop chasing Others
I found Freedom

Stop chasing Happiness
I found Joy

April 2022. Two of Swords. Rider-Waite deck.

Everyone is looking for validation, for a “sense of entitlement”, for social recognition, or simply a “social status”. The most fragile ones even confuse this as “seek of Love” while it is indeed “seek of Power”, and viceversa. The fear of losing control on outer Reality foster inside humans the necessity to control thoughts, words, and actions of peers.

The “status” justifies an illusionary mindset: “I am who I think I am”. This is an illusionary self-validation of identity, statements and actions aiming at imposing authority, control and influence on Others. Given a “sense of entitlement”, interactions based on a “status” justify expectations which by nature diverge from Reality.

This is the deep origin of mental disorder: the Denial of Reality.

In order to avoid such condition, I warmly suggest to keep track of the level of narcissism and other personality traits over time by doing this personality test:


Judge the personal story, the experience and the actions, not the presumed “sense of entitlement” based on an illusionary “social status”. It is the experience legitimating the action, not the “status”.

For other possible sources of alienation, read my blog post here: https://teodorocriscione.medium.com/a-systemic-theory-of-love-and-god-ontology-of-alienation-38f3f9eaf019



Teodoro Criscione

Ph.D. student in Network and Data Science (Central European University). Junior Researcher at Freiburg Institute For Basic Income Studies (Freiburg University).